


Hale's Orgasms

by ericaismeg



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Awesome Cora, Baker Derek, Bakery, Flirting, Fluff, M/M, Pining Derek Hale, Pining Stiles, Post-High School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 12:32:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1858200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ericaismeg/pseuds/ericaismeg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>HALE’S ORGASMS</b>
  <br/>
  <i>Come for the name, stay for the desserts.</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>*<br/>Stiles helps Derek name his bakery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hale's Orgasms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ymalcal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ymalcal/gifts).



> Hi Yomara, baby!
> 
> In a comment on [Just the Same](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1727696), you said, " _Also, I would love a one-shot about Hale's Orgasms, where you come in for the name, stay for the baker behind the counter, have a life-changing experience through the treats, and keep coming back for the whole package haha. The whole naming the bakery thing was huge to me, like DEREK YOU PRECIOUS SOUL! He let Stiles name his baby, Erica. That is what this is like in my head. And that makes me so emotional._ "
> 
> This probably isn't what you had in mind, but I really hope you enjoy it anyway! (It was supposed to be a tumblr ficlet of 500 words, and this happened.)
> 
> Love you!
> 
> Thanks to [Another Erica](http://www.sayitthroughsong.tumblr.com) for betaing.

            “You know what blows my mind?” Stiles asks as he opens the door for his best friend.

            “Thanks and what?” Scott says, walking into their favourite bakery. It’d been a great discovery on a hot, lazy day.

            “That this place _still_ doesn’t have an actual name,” Stiles says, with a shake of his head while the door bangs shut behind him. “I mean, we’ve been coming here for _eight_ months. Isn’t it illegal to have an unnamed business?”

            “You’d have to ask Lydia. I wouldn’t have a clue,” Scott tells him. They step into the line. “But I don’t see the big deal. They’re always busy, so clearly people know about them.”

            “Word of mouth _is_ powerful,” Stiles says, pointing to a couple by the window. Scott cranes his neck so he can see Danny and Ethan sharing a cupcake. “But I still think this place deserves a name, you know? I’d like to call it something other than ‘ _The Bakery_ ’. That’s not even catchy.”

            “It’s accurate,” Scott points out.

            “Whatever, I’m going to complain to Cora,” Stiles answers right before they reach the counter. Cora Hale smiles at them both.

            “Nice to see you guys. What will it be today?” she asks, in her usual chipper serving voice.

            “A name for the bakery,” Stiles says, but his tone is lighthearted and Cora snorts.

            “I’ve been on my brother’s ass about that for months. He currently has it registered as ‘ _The Bakery_ ’ but I told him he can’t call it that,” Cora says. She leans forward and in a stage whisper, adds, “You can’t even search us on social media—” she raises her voice, directed at the kitchen door, “—because the bakery doesn’t _even have a goddamn name_!”

            The door swings open as if Derek had been waiting for a cue. He shoots a dirty look at Cora before he spots Scott and Stiles. His face softens a little. “What’s going on out here?”

            “Stiles just ordered a name for the bakery,” Cora informs her brother. His eyebrows rise in Stiles’ direction and Cora adds, “I would have so much fun with social media if you just gave it a name.”

            “ _The Bakery_ is a fine name,” Derek retorts.

            Stiles snorts. “Dude, you don’t even have a sign.”

            “Well, nothing I’ve come up with pleases _this one_ , so it doesn’t matter,” Derek tells them. He leans against the counter. “Is that all you need?”

            Stiles remembers Derek Hale from high school. God, the guy had been the reason Stiles realized he was gay. He’d started taking his clothes off in the locker room after lacrosse practice and Stiles had been a goner. Stiles had also been drooling, and Scott had taken his smelly lacrosse shorts and wiped them across Stiles’ face like a decent bro.

            Derek had been a year older, walking around with an air of responsibility and a good sense of humour. Stiles remembers trailing around him during Derek’s last year like a lost puppy dog, constantly trying to make Derek laugh. It’s such a nice sound, and he looks so fucking beautiful when he does. They’d never discussed Stiles’ obvious crush on him, and hadn’t spoken about high school since Stiles had discovered that the bakery belonged to Derek eight months ago.

            Scott had yanked Stiles out of the place that day and demanded to know if he was okay. He had every reason to ask. Before the bakery, he last time Stiles had seen Derek before the bakery had been the day that Derek had graduated. Stiles had gone to the after-grad party, had a little too much to drink, and had sloppily kissed Derek. He still remembers the humiliating moment when Derek pulled away and said, “ _I can’t do this, Stiles_.” He’d gotten up and left.

            Stiles had spent two years wallowing and silently still thinking of Derek Hale. Scott knew that he hadn’t gotten over his crush on Derek, but they only talked about him when Stiles was drunk on whiskey. He stopped drinking whiskey. Scott had told Stiles that he’d come so far and they would not go back to the bakery (no matter _how_ amazing it was) if it meant that Stiles would get hurt again by Derek.

            He’d sworn he wouldn’t.

            The truth of the matter is that Stiles wishes, desperately, that Derek would acknowledge what had happened between them in some way. It would mean that it had mattered, and Stiles wants it to matter.

            “I could come up with a name for your bakery, if you want,” Stiles suggests suddenly. Derek studies him, his gaze not wavering from Stiles’, so it makes him rush onward. “Actually, I have a better idea. Why don’t you let your regular customers participate in the decision? You could put a suggestion box on the counter for two weeks and then we can go through and pick out the best ones. People could vote on our finalists!”

            “That would be _great_ PR,” Cora points out, with a grin. “Derek, do it! That would be so much fun and word would get out. You could get more customers _and_ that means more money. More money means you could finally make the changes in the kitchen that you want.”

            Derek considers this, and Scott pipes up. “That’s a pretty cool idea, actually. The winner could get a free week of baked goods.”

            “Incentive,” Cora says, clapping her hands together in excitement. “What do you say, big brother?”

            Stiles is watching Derek carefully. He nods. “Alright. But Stiles, you’re in charge of it. Your idea, your responsibility—Cora can help, and I get final say on the name.”

            “Deal,” Stiles says, grinning. “This is going to be so much fun. Give us four cookies, Cora. Scotty and I have to go get some materials and then we’ll be back to start setting up shop.”

            Derek rolls his eyes. “Why do I feel like I should be worried?”

            “You shouldn’t, Hale. Good ol’ Stiles here will take care of everything,” Stiles tells him, with a grin.

  

♚♞♚♞♚♞

****

****

**SUGGESTION BOX: HELP US NAME THIS BAKERY!**

**RULES: BE CREATIVE. HAVE FUN. NO DIRTY WORDS ~~(DEREK’S A PRUDE).~~ _AM NOT._**

**SUGGESTIONS WILL BE NARROWED DOWN ON JUNE 30 TH. FINALISTS WILL BE POSTED IN THE BAKERY.**

**THEN YOU WILL BE ABLE TO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURITE NAME. WINNER GETS TWO WEEKS WORTH OF FREE BAKED GOODS.**

_NOTE FROM CORA:_

_NAMING THE BAKERY ALSO MEANS SOCIAL MEDIA PEOPLE. SOCIAL MEDIA MEANS YOU CAN POST PHOTOS AND BE RETWEETED/REPOSTED BY MY LOVELY SELF. YOU’LL BE INTERNET FAMOUS, I SWEAR. -C_

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞

 

            “Some of these suggestions are actually really great!” Stiles says, as he goes through the pieces of paper. Derek had admitted that he was surprised at how quickly people jumped on the idea of naming the bakery. Cora had told Stiles that business had picked up as well, because people got wind of the contest and wanted to get their idea in.

            It’s after hours, and it’s the first time that Stiles has been in the bakery with only Derek. It’d been Derek’s suggestion though, because he’s trying out a new recipe and thought Stiles could be his guinea pig.

            Stiles picks up an anonymous suggestion. It reads, _Fuck these cookies, mine are better._ He holds it out for Derek.

            “We found a winner,” Stiles says, snorting. “I can’t believe someone thinks their cookies are better.”

            “That’s definitely my sister Laura’s writing,” Derek says, shaking his head. “She likes to claim that she’s a better baker. She burns _everything_ though.”

            Stiles laughs and thumbs through some more. “I’m happy you decided to help me choose finalists. I’m surprised that Cora’s not here though.”

            Derek shrugs. “Cora had a date. She told me that sex actually _is_ more important than naming this place.”

            “It’s hard to argue with that,” Stiles murmurs. He pulls out another suggestion. “Hey, I like this one.”

            Derek takes the piece of paper from him. He reads it aloud, “‘ _Derek’s Cooling Rack_ ’—huh. I don’t hate that one. That’s a finalist for sure.”

            “Why didn’t you come up with your own name?” Stiles asks, curiously as he thumbs through some more suggestions. None of them catches his eye. “Other than your sisters’ dissatisfaction—there has to be a real reason.”

            “I could never settle on anything that seemed good enough,” Derek admits. He pushes his newest cookie towards Stiles, who has already had three. He grabs it as though it’s the most natural thing in the world to accept food from Derek (it rather is—he’s always at the bakery) and takes a bite. Derek shrugs. “I don’t know. It seemed as though if I gave it an official name, that’s what I would be stuck with for years and years. Nothing seemed to satisfy _me_.”

            “You know what satisfies me? This cookie. Holy fucking hell, Derek—I have no idea how you do it, but you bake things that are better than sex,” Stiles informs him on a moan. He takes another bite and lets the warmth melt in his mouth. Another moan escapes his lips.

            Inspiration strikes him and he puts his cookie back onto the plate so he can pick up his pen. He reaches over with his free hand to grab one of the unused suggestion papers. He scribbles, _Hale’s Orgasms_ on the paper and pushes it at Derek.

            “You just found your new name.”

            Derek laughs, and shakes his head. “No way, Stilinski. No one would want to go to a _bakery_ called _Hale’s Orgasms_.”

            “I challenge you on that!” Stiles says, grabbing the sheet from his hands. He puts it in their finalist pile. “Let’s see what the judges have to say about that.”

            Amused, Derek says, “Alright, we’ll see how popular it becomes. Now, do you feel up for some cake? I have this new recipe I’d like to try out on someone.”

            “Try it, _right now_ ,” Stiles demands. “I will eat anything and everything of yours.”

            Derek stands up, smiling at him. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Stiles.”

            It sounds like an innuendo, but Stiles can’t be too sure. He watches Derek disappear into the kitchen, and he starts doing exactly what he’d been doing all night. He goes through the last hundred suggestions and puts away four more options for Derek to read.

 

 _Queen Erica Bakery_ –naturally, Erica had suggested this. It’d made Stiles smile though. She also had potential to rip his throat out if he didn’t include it.

 _All Hale Sugar_ –which Stiles had read with a Texan accent and decided was fantastic.

 _Derek’s Goods_ –how could Stiles _not_ pull this one aside? It’s too amusing.

 _Hale’s Bakery_ –suggested by Derek Hale himself. Stiles had snorted. God, the guy had no creativity.

 

            “I made it this morning, but I just iced it now. Be brutally honest—not like you were with my cookies. Moaning doesn’t count as being brutally honest,” Derek warns him, setting a piece of cake in front of him.

            Stiles slides the plate closer and says, “Dude, my moaning _is_ me being brutally hon…”

            He stops talking because his mouth is now full with one of the most delicious things he’s ever had. Stiles lets out the loudest, unapologetic moan he can before he closes his eyes and tilts his head back to savour the different flavours.

            “How is it?” Derek asks, sounding nervous.

            Stiles looks at him and says, “You’re kidding right? I feel like someone just fucked me slowly.”

            “Uh,” Derek starts.

            “Actually, that’s inaccurate. It tastes like your first kiss with someone you’re really, really into,” Stiles says, with a grin. He grabs another forkful and doesn’t even try to prevent the second moan. He continues with his metaphor. “At first, you’re unsure of it, but then the flavour hits you real subtly. And just before you’re done with that kiss, er, bite, you realize you don’t want it to end. Ever.”

            Derek’s eyes widened slightly, and then he ducks his head. Stiles has to lean forward when he speaks, because his voice is so quiet. “I’m sorry you didn’t get that with me.”

            “What?” Stiles squeaks. His head snaps to face Derek, who looks away.

            “Are you designing the finalists’ board or is Cora?” Derek asks, abruptly.

            “I am,” Stiles answers. “I’ll have it finished by Sunday.”

            “Sounds good. I should start cleaning up the kitchen. If you’ll excuse me,” Derek says, standing up suddenly. “The back door is still unlocked. I’ll see you Sunday.”

            “Yeah, uh, yeah, sure.”

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞

****

           “Wow, even _I_ didn’t expect that,” Stiles says a week later when he comes in for his piece of cheesecake and the update on the name game. _Hale’s Orgasms_ currently has the most votes. It’s at two hundred and ninety-six, whereas the others are less than thirty each.

            “What is wrong with people?” Derek mutters. “Who would want to come to a bakery called _Hale’s Orgasms_?”

            “Come for the name, stay for the desserts,” Stiles quips in response.

            “Oh my god, there’s your slogan!” Cora squeals, excited. “And it’s even more perfect because _sexual innuendo._ Sex sells, Derek. I’m officially sold.”

            Derek shakes his head. “No way—I know it’s clever but…”

            “It’s genius, so shut up. The voting ends tonight and we have to make a decision by tomorrow. We _promised_ our customers,” Cora points out.

            Derek glances at the voting board. He mutters, “Dammit, people really did like it.”

            “Why wouldn’t they?” Stiles asks, laughing. “Out of all of them, it’s the most accurate.”

            “The slogan _is_ catchy…” Derek sighs. “I’ll think about it.”

            “We make the decision at midnight,” Cora reminds him. She has a twinkle in her eye that tells Stiles they’ve already won.

  

♚♞♚♞♚♞

 

**HALE’S ORGASMS**

_Come for the name, stay for the desserts._

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞ ****

 

            “The new sign looks so good!” Stiles says, grinning when he walks into _Hale’s Orgasms_ three weeks later.

            “It was installed last night. Here, try this,” Derek says, pushing a plate towards him. It’s 5:04am, and Stiles couldn’t sleep. Whenever he can’t sleep, he comes into _Hale’s_ to hang out with Derek. It’s become their little routine in the past two weeks. Usually Derek feeds him, and he hasn’t been complaining. Stiles takes a bite of the pie.

            “Jesus shit, I might have just come,” Stiles whispers.

            Derek laughs. “Sex and food are interchangeable for you, aren’t they?”

            “Not quite,” Stiles says, “But I do relate them with orgasms, so a little. Seriously, did you drug this pie? It’s fucking delicious.”

            “Not quite,” Derek echoes. “But I think I finally got the right balance for the spices.”

            “Definitely nailed this one,” Stiles murmurs. “I was thinking—on your board outside, you should definitely write dirty jokes about your specials and stuff.”

            “Like what?” Derek asks, leaning forward on the table.

            “Like _‘Ever heard of bad make-up sex? Yeah, me neither. The cupcakes are even better here’_ ,” Stiles suggests with a grin. Derek studies him carefully, and then Stiles feels the need to add, “Cora gave me your new cupcake yesterday. I think she’s trying to fatten me up.”

            Derek laughs. “I’ve seen you running around town, so we both know you work it all off. Besides, you could probably gain three hundred pounds and still charm your way into anything.”

            It surprises Stiles, so he grins. “Would you still love me even if I was a giant?”

            Derek raises his head, studying Stiles. He nods, and his voice is quiet. “I’d still love you, even if you shrunk down to be two inches tall.”

            Stiles snorts. “Thanks, man. I know you don’t mean it, but I appreciate the thought.”

            “How are you still single?” Derek asks.

            “The same way anyone else is single. No one’s caught my eye...or rather, the only person who has, well, he isn’t looking back.”

            “He?” Derek prompts.

            Stiles tilts his head. “Yeah, _he_. I’m gay, dude.”

            “You’re...but...,” Derek frowns down at his pie. Stiles head tilts ever so slightly to the side, as he eyes Derek down, and waits. “In high school, Kate Argent told me you were in love with Lydia.”

            His first reaction is to laugh. Then he catches the alarmed expression on Derek’s face and it dies instantly. “Oh. Well, yeah. She was definitely my only girl crush though. And that was before I knew I was gay.”

            Derek gives the smallest nod, absorbing.

            “How did you not know?” Stiles asks. He’s going to bring up the one thing he’s avoided for nine months. “I kissed you, Derek. In high school, _I_ kissed _you_. How does that not scream gay?”

            “Um, Kate said—”

            “Fuck Kate,” Stiles says immediately.

            “She said you took pity on me,” Derek murmurs, “and that you were just humouring me. That you would never...”

            “Be totally fucking crazy about you?” Stiles whispers. Derek’s eyes widened. “Why else would I demand to make this silly project out of naming your bakery? I wanted an excuse to be in here more often without you charging me for stalking.”

            “And back then?” Derek asks. “In high school?”

            “I would’ve followed you across the world, if it meant being with you.”

            “Oh. _Oh_ , I—”

            “It’s all in the past,” he interrupts. He stands up, and says, “Derek, my feelings haven’t changed. I don’t know what yours were then, or what they are now, but I don’t want to rush you or make you uncomfortable or—”

            Derek stands up now. “The reason I agreed to _Hale’s Orgasms_ is because it was _your_ suggestion.”

            “A damn fine one, if you ask me,” Stiles responds. He lets the weight of the words settle on him. “Oh _wow_. You named your nameless bakery for me.”

            Derek nods, once, and it’s enough for Stiles to start smiling. Derek moves around the table, and asks, “Stiles, will you write dirty things on my sign?”

            Stiles chokes on air, and when he can breathe properly again, he steps forward. His words are softer than Derek’s. “Only if you let me do dirty things to you.”

            “Hmm,” Derek answers, pretending to think about Stiles’ deal. He nods, a smile breaking free, and says, “I think that can be arranged.”

            “For the record, are you gay too?” Stiles asks.

            “I don’t know. I can’t remember the last time I looked at anyone else,” Derek says, but his lips are close. He adds, “I definitely haven’t seen straight since I met you.”

            Stiles starts to laugh, only to be cut off with a kiss. He leans in, letting his hands wander around Derek’s neck, and hopes he’s not dreaming.

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞

 

**You can’t touch my boyfriend, but you can taste his goods! (I recommend his cookies. Or pies. Maybe try everything? Remember—no touchy Derek!)**

_**Your favourite sign artist,** _

_**Stiles** _

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞

 

            “Stiles, shove that cupcake into Derek’s face,” Cora demands, holding her cell phone in her hand.

            Stiles doesn’t even hesitate. His cupcake smashes into Derek’s face, and Derek lets out an indignant squawk of surprise. He’s laughing at his boyfriend’s grumpy face, and he hears the click of Cora’s camera.

            “God, this is going to get _so_ many favourites, likes, and retweets. It’s all for the business, Der-bear,” Cora says, as she hums and walks over to her usual stool.

            “Maybe you’re fired!” Derek shouts over his shoulder.

            Stiles leans in and runs his tongue over Derek’s cupcaked lips. He pulls away and says, “Can I help you with that?”

            Derek snorts, but he tells Cora, “You’re not fired.”

            “I didn’t think I was,” Cora calls out, but neither of them hear her. They’ve only been together for a few weeks, and Stiles is sure he will never grow tired of Derek pulling him back into the bakery’s kitchen.

            “Oh, I think some of that cupcake got onto your crotch,” Stiles says, keeping his voice innocent as possible.

            “Oh yeah?” Derek asks. He yanks Stiles into the kitchen closet. “Are you going to help me out with that?”

            “Oh yeah.” Stiles shuts the door behind them and then his face lights up. “I just thought of a great slogan for the sign tomorrow!”

            “Stiles?” Derek asks, unzipping his pants. “I love you, but now is not the time.”

            “Oh, right, of course,” Stiles laughs as he launches himself against Derek and licks some more cupcake off his face.

**Author's Note:**

> FOR ANYONE FOLLOWING _[JUST THE SAME](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1727696)_ :  
> · You probably saw a lot of small nods towards that fic in this one. The inspiration for this one-shot came from that fic, so I hope you don't mind too much.
> 
> · [Another Erica](http://www.sayitthroughsong.tumblr.com) is betaing my final chapter of Just the Same. If you're waiting for the final chapter, it'll hopefully be posted sometime early next week!
> 
> FOR ANYONE NEW, feel free to check out my other stuff or hit me up on [tumblr](http://www.foxerica.tumblr.com) \- come say hi! :)
> 
> UPDATE: [John ](http://sexiestgrandma.com)sent me [this (below)](http://foxerica.tumblr.com/post/90405765387/neongenesisevangaylion-submitted-this-reminds-me), with the caption, " _this reminds me of hale's orgasms_ " so I had to share. 
> 
>   
> How great is that? #headcanonaccepted

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Наслаждения Хейла](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2442881) by [JuliaJulia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaJulia/pseuds/JuliaJulia), [tatianatiana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatianatiana/pseuds/tatianatiana)




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